DISCLAIMER… You could get HURT/INJURED and or HUGE when applying the training methods described below. THESE TRAINING METHODS DESCRIBED BELOW ARE INTENDED FOR INTERMEDIATE TO ADVANCED LIFTERS. So you want to get BIG and get big FAST ?? If you’re like most guys, you’ve been working out a few times a week and are seeing some decent results, but this isn’t enough. That workout rut has taken hold, and results are coming more slowly. What you need is a kick in the complacency. Summer is here, and looking like a slug just won’t do. I’m going to introduce a workout philosophy here that has worked wonders with a number of rut stuck couch-potato turned muscle-men. I call it the psycho trainer method of inspiration.
Psycho trainer method of inspiration? The Yes, there are two parts to the psycho trainer method of getting HUGE quickly:
- A sadistic partner.
- Some sadistic exercise methods.
Make no mistake about it, this workout is going to hurt, and it will hurt a lot (You’ll learn later that this is a good thing.) There are a few general benchmarks to the workouts that will let you know if you’re doing them correctly.
Signs of a good set:
- It really sucks and hurts (This is a general guideline, below we’ll outline what constitutes proper hurt and suck).
- You can’t move that well the next day after doing an exercise.
- You can’t move that well two days after doing an exercise.
- During an exercise you hear weird animal noises, then realize your making them.
- Your face changes more than 4 shades of red, purple, or black during a set.
- You see stars, get tunnel vision, and then come-to with a bar resting comfortably on your neck.
“Sounds great, but how do I do it?” I’m glad you asked. The first thing you’ll need is a good workout partner or two (Two is better than one, as it reduces the possibility of one person wimping out and dragging the intensity of the workout down to a sane level.) Whether the partner is stronger or weaker than you is irrelevant, attitude is everything (The more sadistic, the better.) The next step is to become a psycho partner yourself. This will allow you to push your partner hard, thus making him/her push back harder. Revenge is a great motivator for these types of workouts.
“I’m ready, what can I do to become a psycho partner?” To truly become psycho, we need study one of the most psycho motivating people of our current day and age and emulate him. Rent the video Full Metal Jacket, and pay close attention to the drill sergeant. This sergeant is probably the best role model for the psycho trainer. He elevated recruits to physical levels that they didn’t think they could reach, all through fear, intimidation, force of will, and humiliation. This is a good thing.
Beware the slacker, in all his shapes and forms: The arch nemesis of the psycho partner is the slacker. You need to find when and where your partner is slacking, and this may not be obvious. If your partner does 185 lbs on bench for 10 reps without a spot, this is a sign that he needs more weight (Sometimes he’ll even grunt a bit to make you think that he’s working, don’t be fooled). This is the “It’s heavy, I’m going to stay at this weight next set” variety of slacker. Don’t let your partner get away with this. If you can do 10 reps of something without a serious spot, it’s time to increase the weight. INSIST that the partner up the weight and go for a few less reps, (In this case, say 205 lbs for 6 reps). Many people have unconsciously put self-imposed limits on what they can lift. Don’t buy into these limits, force your partner to smash these barriers.
The next variety of slacker is the “I’m just going for reps this set ” kind. Ok, using light weight and going for reps can be a good thing, but now let’s really go for some reps, not just 10 or oooohhh 12 reps, let’s get psycho . 20 reps should be the minimum for this person, 30 or higher is better. If they can do 12 reps without a spotter, they can do 20 with a psycho spotter. Again refer to the above signs of a good workout to judge whether your partner is putting out an earnest effort.
The Everyday Lifting Rut, and the lying principle: Lying to your partner is one of the best ways to snap them out of the usual rut. Universal machines are the best for this type of inspiration. If you’re doing an exercise, say cable rows, and your partner sits down and tells you to put the pin in at 150 (He usually does 10 reps, but insists that it’s heavy), have some fun. Put the pin in 170, and use some of the motivational methods listed below to force him to squeeze out at least 8, then berate him for not getting 10. If your partner tries to avoid this by setting his own pin, don’t worry, this can be overcome in a few ways. The best is to point out a nice looking female, and as the would- e-slacker looks, drop the pin down a few plates….Cha Ching. If you simply can’t fool, shame, or trick your partner into doing more weight, INSIST that he get at least 12 reps, then do a Break-Down (Explained below under sadistic exercise methods).
Motivation during the set is important: Total effort should be given to each and every set after a warm-up. There is no excuse for just doing a few reps and putting the weight down. Below are some of the better phrases that are good to scream at your partner during lifts. Anger, fear, and humiliation are the cornerstones of the motivation.
Was effort expensive today, you couldn’t get much?
- Lift you worthless piece of S–t.
- I don’t mean to say anything, but my girlfriend lifts more.
- You lift like old people F–k, slow and ugly.
- Of course it’s heavy, that’s why they call it weight.
- That’s not bad….for a girl.
- I’ve seen your pool cleaner lift more… hey wasn’t he at your house today with your wife while you were at work?
- Worthless must have been on sale, it appears you stocked up.